SPLAT: What Happens When You Hit the Wall

This is a good and timely post from Alvin. I'm afraid I tend to ignore the signs and plunge ahead and hit the wall repeatedly sometimes. I appreciate his honesty, and encourages me to be purposeful in all things.

by Alvin Reid on Tuesday, September 28, 2010 at 8:11am.“You measure the importance of a person by the things to which he says no.” Unknown



I did something on Thursday of last week I rarely do. I walked into a class of amazing students and said, “No more appointments for the next week.”



I love students. I love to meet with students. I love ministers and enjoy fellowship with them. I also enjoy young professionals who seek to connect the gospel to their careers. I consider my ministry as a professor, my call to teaching, to be comprised only about 50% by my time in actual academic classrooms. Every week I meet with many students.



But I hit the wall last week. The wall of emotional fatigue. It was not a major crash, just enough of a bump to say, “Pay attention, mister.”

Like many of you in ministry I constantly have more people who want to see me than I can fit into a week. To be clear, students do not come to me because I am wiser or smarter than others or have some rare Oracle of Delphi quality. And, they certainly do not come only to me, as many colleagues spend much time with students outside class. But I could honestly fill up 40 hour weeks with student meetings at 30 minutes a pop.



So this fall I have been meeting with students every spare minute. Not at night, because I protect my family time (other than Wednesday nights).



But last week I hit the wall.



Splat.



I do not want to hit a wall in the future that causes permanent damage.



You know when I have hit the wall when suddenly I am not energized by meeting with students.



A lot of men in ministry are hitting walls lately. John Piper recently took a lengthy leave of absence from his church. My friend Johnny Hunt took a shorter but no less important break. There are others, lesser known but no less in need of a time off the ferris wheel. Schools of higher learning and increasing numbers of churches realize the importance of sabbatical leaves for leaders.



Ask yourself, are you about to hit that wall?



So forgive me for making this a very self-serving blog article about me and about my schedule. But I want people to know why I am going to say no to appointments in some cases in the days ahead. My problem is not burnout, as I am more energized than ever to teach! But, P90X notwithstanding, sometimes we all get fatigued.



We who love people have got to learn how to say no. I am much better at saying no to speaking opportunities than I once was, although sometimes I am still not wise. I am cutting back a ton from traveling, but I honestly want to cut back even more. I want to pour my life into less people and mentor better while speaking to crowds less.



I have learned I am not as good as I need to be at saying no to individual appointments. I am guessing some people reading this have the same problem.



Let me say a word to those of you who love to meet with professors, ministers, leaders, and who genuinely respect and value our advice: do not stop asking. Keep coming. But understand that the first place for you to go for such wisdom is your local church. You need to plant

deeply into a church that allows you to grow and learn from those who are older and wiser.



Thus I have spent a little time thinking about how I will meet with students and others in the coming days. I will still meet with a lot of people. It is my passion. But I once tried to meet with every single student in my classes in a given semester. Many students do not even need that. So I canned that. Here is what I will be doing. It may help you in making similar decisions, even if you decide my approach is not yours; perhaps it will nevertheless get you to think. My priority in scheduling:



1. Young professionals at my local church. I work with Young Professionals at my church, which includes professionals in the culture, but also a good number of seminary students. So, the students I am most available to are in my local church, thus I am modeling the value of the church. These students will get first priority. The local church comes first.



2. Doctoral students. My primary calling is not to teach evangelism, missional Christianity, or student ministry. My calling is to train leaders. So, one of the big reasons I am slowing down my speaking schedule is to mentor more doctoral students. And there are a lot of them.



3. For lack of a better term, chemistry. There are simply some students I naturally connect with. You recognize that in your own relationships. Other professors and ministers (all leaders in fact) do the same. This includes a select group of students I am currently mentoring (from our church and at SEBTS) and students with whom I develop a much closer relationship than professor-student. Some folks just have chemistry, and some students I just really connect with, and walk with them often for decades, not just semesters.



4. Current students. I will be available for students in my current classes, but not just to hang out and shoot the breeze. I want to sit down with students to talk about life and godliness, the gospel, relationships, growth, and impact as well. I also prioritize current classes, as I want to be available to students in upper level classes first (this fall that means Spiritual Awakenings and Student Ministry), followed by core classes. In our setup I only teach one course required of pretty much everyone, so if you take me for three courses for instance (which rarely happens), you really want to be in my class, so I should give you the best of my time.



5. Everyone else. You might imagine at this point that there is not much time left after all the above. You would be correct, and that is why God gave us email, smile. After that I will meet with other students and former students. But, in the coming days that will be less likely. Then I will meet with pastors and other leaders away from the seminary. And if I do not have time, I am really sorry, but in the case of all of us, if we do not control our time, someone else will.



So, there it is. Nothing profound, and a little bit self-serving, so forgive me. But I want students to know that I really love them and I love spending time with them. But in the days to come it has to be about things that matter, or the meetings will be remarkably brief or will not happen at all.



I value relationships. I have been a tiny part in a lot of couples meeting, for instance, and have helped a lot find ministry positions. I love this. But you and I must heed the advice of the philosopher Clint Eastwood who said, “A man’s got to know his limitations.” I often say every need is not a call, and one cannot determine the will of God only because there is a great need. In the same way, just because some need to visit does not mean I (or you) have to be the one to make that appointment.



As hard as it is, in the days to come I am going to have to simply say to some that the best course of action for them and for me is to talk to someone else (as in the local church). I hit the wall this time. I do not want to crash and burn the next time. After all, the One we most need is not a professor or a leader, but Jesus Himself (Acts 4:13).